Sundays with The Girls, June 1, 2025

When was the last time you listened to the universe?

A couple of weeks ago, one of my close friends from New York texted me with a soft invite to his wedding in Paris. Initially, I said I couldn't go. Airfare and lodging alone would cost upwards of $2,000, not to mention the copious bottles of cheaper-than-water wine I would drink, flaky croissants I would eat, and secondhand shopping I would reason as a treat yourself gift to myself.

But destination wedding invites don't come often. And memories with friends feel especially precious when the world feels so uncertain. So I started looking for ways to make Paris happen on a budget.

I'd been hoarding Chase points since getting my Sapphire Preferred card years ago, and this felt like the perfect moment to cash in. Even better, Chase was offering an extra 25% bonus for transfers to Flying Blue (Air France and KLM's program). A round-trip ticket would run me 37,500 to 130,000 miles—totally doable with my stash.

Flight sorted. But lodging? The hotels I wanted were laughably expensive, and the ones I could afford were... depressing. Look, I know you can't be picky on a budget, but I have diamond taste on a cubic zirconia budget. (This is precisely why I'm broke, but that's another story.)

Then I remembered Listings Project, basically a curated Craigslist that lands in your inbox weekly. People post apartment sublets, lease breaks, and rentals everywhere from New York to Paris to Mexico City. I made myself a deal: if there's an apartment available for my exact dates at my budget in the next newsletter, it's a sign from the universe to go.

And wouldn't you know it—there was. One listing, perfect dates, unbeatable price. The universe had spoken.

I'm still nervous about whether this is smart. But the best stories don't come from smart decisions. They come from taking chances and doing something a little crazy. The last time I took a spontaneous wedding trip, I fell in love with Brazil and made lifelong friends. If that's not evidence enough, what is?

So this week, I'm encouraging you to listen to the universe. What is she trying to tell you through all the noise of "smart" decisions and societal expectations? A whole new life might be waiting behind that leap you're afraid to take. At minimum, you're showing the universe you're paying attention. And she loves when you listen.

It's 11:22pm as I write this edition of Sunday with The Girls. A bit late for a Sunday paper, so enjoy this Monday morning with your coffee, tea, joint, or whatever gets you going.

xx
Kai

US Army Begins Phased Approach to Discharge Transgender Service Members

The US Government continues to backstab the people who serve this country by initiating the trans military members' discharge process this June.

Phase 1, known as Voluntary Separation, is occurring from now until June 6th for self-identifying transgender individuals. Phase II, aka Involuntary Separation, begins on June 7th, 2025 and commands will have 30 days from identifying as trans to initiate the separation process.

🪖 How does this affect service members by level of involvement?
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➤ Active Duty Soldiers:

Immediately considered non-deployable.
If deployed, must be redeployed within 30 days of notification.
Placed on administrative leave with full pay and benefits until separation is completed.
Discharge status: Honorable.
May apply for waivers only if they have:
- 36 months of stability in their biological sex.
- No history of transition attempts.
- Willingness to comply with biological sex-based standards.

➤ New Recruits / Applicants:

Transgender individuals are disqualified at Military Entrance Processing Stations.
Those in the Delayed Entry Program are also disqualified.

➤ ROTC / Military Academies:

West Point admissions for transgender recruits will be rescinded.
ROTC cadets may continue classes but will eventually be separated or disenrolled.
Green-to-Gold Program participants will be released and separated per enlisted policy.
No repayment required for education or service commitments.

➤ Military Facilities (Intimate Spaces):

Access to bathrooms, showers, and other shared spaces will be based on biological sex.
Uniforms, grooming, medical, and fitness standards will also follow biological sex.

House Democrats are preparing legislation to reverse the Pentagon's action, while six service members filed a lawsuit in January challenging the broader trans military ban.

AB Hernandez is a Winner, Baby, and Her Competitors Are Here For It

The most talked-about transgender athlete in America right now just won first and second place in her three events this past weekend at the California State Track & Field Championships.

AB Hernandez, the 16-year-old female athlete from Jurupa Valley High School, tied for 1st in the high jump and triple jump, and tied for 2nd in the long jump. According to a last-minute change-up from the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) board, any athlete who ties with a transgender athlete will also win the same title and medal. This comes after a week of Trump threatening to pull federal funds from California for allowing a female athlete to compete in the female division of her sport.

While AB was sharing these podium finishes with her fellow competitors, adults heckled her and protested her win, but her peers? They laughed, hugged, and happily shared their win with their fellow winner.

“As a part of the queer community, I want AB Hernandez to know that we all have her back,” White tells SF Chronicle. “It’s emotional, it gets people heated from all sides of the argument. But when I got here and I talked to AB Hernandez … I learned to knock out all of the negativity.

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Video of AB Hernandez and Brooke White celebrating 2nd place podium finish at the CIF State Track & Field Championships (Video by Sarah McGrew from SF Chronicle)

“There’s just been so much support,” Nereyda, AB's mother, shared with the Chronicle in an exclusive interview. “I had coaches approach us yesterday, shake my hand. Parents, you know, they just wanted to let me know like, ‘Look, we’re not for that,’ and it felt good.

In Washington State, trans athlete Verónica Garcia repeats as the state 2A 400m dash champion

https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2025/may/31/defending-state-track-champion-transgender-athlete/

“I’m just gonna say it’s a … shame they don’t have anything else better to do,” Garcia said of her hecklers. “I hope they get a life, but oh well, it just shows who they are as people.”

"What It Feels Like For A Girl" Investigates Gender and Class Transition

A new BBC television series urges viewers to confront the intersectionality of gender, class, and survivalism. Named after trans activist and writer Paris Lees' memoir, "What It Feels Like For A Girl", the show follows Byron, a 15-year-old growing up in a working-class town near Nottingham. At home, Byron lives under the expectation of his macho father's expectations while navigating their budding transness. As Byron begins to explore Nottingham's underground queer life, they find freedom and belonging among The Fallen Divas, a defiant, chaotic collective of queer outsiders who become chosen family to Byron.

"The most exciting intersectionality of it is with the working class. What is that experience going to be for you if you are trans... and you are poor? What is the survivalist mechanism that exists for those people?

The show has become a political battleground in light of the UK Supreme Court's decision in April to define 'sex' exclusively as the biological sex assigned at birth under the Equality Act 2010.

Watch the trailer at the link below.

All the Trans and Queer Films to Watch at the Tribeca Film Festival

Dominique Jackson and Tomas Matos star in "Queens of the Dead"

The 2025 Tribeca Festival, running June 4-15, will showcase several films centering the trans community.
Much attention is being paid to the film, "State of Firsts," a documentary that follows Rep. Sarah McBride's historic 2024 campaign to become the first transgender person elected to Congress. However, it should also be noted that Mcbride is a firm supporter of Israel. In April of 2024, she tweeted, “…President Biden is right to reinforce our collective commitment to support Israel’s self-defense, which, today, has resulted in nearly every missile being intercepted and countless lives saved.”
As much as we love trans firsts, especially when it comes to politics, just because someone is transgender doesn't always mean that they are always good.
"Just Kids," another world premiere documentary, takes viewers inside the difficult decisions facing families with transgender children in states that have enacted bans on gender-affirming care. Directors Gianna and Jacqueline Toboni follow three families confronting an agonizing choice: remain in their home states and risk their children's well-being, or uproot their lives entirely to seek safer ground.
In a more experimental approach to transgender storytelling, "In the Current of Being," is an immersive virtual reality experience that tells the story of Carolyn Mercer, a survivor of electroshock conversion therapy. Using haptic technology including wearable vests and gloves, the installation allows participants to physically connect with Mercer's experience through touch.
The transgender-focused programming reflects the festival's broader commitment to LGBTQ+ storytelling.

"Tribeca has always been more than a festival—it's a home for artists navigating an ever-changing industry and an ever-changing world," said festival co-founder Jane Rosenthal in a statement.

Sonoma County made history by hosting its first-ever transgender rally, transforming Old Courthouse Square into a space brimming with affirmation and resistance against discrimination.
The event beautifully showcased transgender resilience and community strength. Speakers like Athena Rowan Gomez shared inspiring stories of transformation and mentorship; how a 72-year-old veteran's courage to transition helped bring Gomez out of hiding, and how she now dedicates her life to helping other transgender people know "they are seen and valid." Her message of "stay alive and don't give up" embodies the fierce hope driving the transgender rights movement.
Suzanne Ford's speech captured something profoundly American about transgender courage:

"We risk everything to be who we are... There is nothing more f***ing American than to risk everything to be who and what you are exactly."

Her words, met with tears and cheers, highlighted how transgender people embody fundamental American values of authenticity and self-determination.

Exclusively Trans and Non-Binary Cast Present Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night"

Sir Ian McKellen will star in a production of Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" featuring an exclusively transgender and non-binary cast, opening July 25 at The Space in London. The production is being mounted by Trans What You Will Theater.
McKellen praised the play's exploration of "gender and sexuality from first to last," while cast member Phoebe Kemp noted that "Twelfth Night already toys with gender and performance — it feels like Shakespeare wrote it for us." The production aims to make the play's themes of gender fluidity explicit through the lived experiences of trans and non-binary performers.

A comprehensive study by the Federal University of Pará reveals that transgender, travesti, and non-binary people in the Brazilian state of Pará face systematic exclusion from the formal economy, with over 60% living on less than one minimum wage monthly.
The research, which surveyed 269 people across the state between 2022-2024, found that nearly half of travestis have been unemployed for over five years, and fewer than 10% have formal employment contracts. Most alarming, 61% of travestis and 58% of trans women have engaged in sex work as their only income source, which researchers term "forced prostitution" due to a lack of alternatives.
The exclusion extends beyond employment to basic citizenship rights. Only 17.9% of respondents have accessed gender-affirming surgery, and 90% of non-binary people haven't completed civil name changes. Over 80% receive no social benefits.
Professor Adiara Pereira from the Associação Vozes da Diversidade describes the situation as "institutionalized transphobia," noting that qualified trans people face a "silent blockade" despite having proper credentials.
The study recommends university quotas, tax incentives for inclusive hiring, specialized support centers, and ongoing anti-transphobia campaigns to address what researchers call a "portrait of the legal void" in which this population lives.

Dai from Netflix reality series "THE BOYFRIEND" Introduces Trans Sister

Dai appeared on the Japanese show "Nakanai" recently during their segment, "Reiwa Era LGBTQ Special" segment and introduced Coconi, their 21-year old trans sister.
Although transgender acceptance in Japan remains relatively low, we hope that with more representation through media the public opinion will shift to one of full support and respect.

That's all for this week's edition of Sunday with The Girls. What did you think? Share, comment, and subscribe to spend your Sundays with The Gitls.

Kai